JJ Litke

the neural pathways less traveled

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Irregular Reviews: Midnight at the Houdini

December 6, 2024 by JJ

Delilah S. Dawson brought us this little hidden gem in late 2023, and I managed to miss it entirely when it came out. Lucky for me, I snagged a copy in a book giveaway.

Midnight at the Houdini tells the story of Anna, a young woman who ends up trapped in a magical hotel (called the Houdini, get it, GET IT?), and if she can’t escape by midnight, she’ll become another permanent, ghostly guest. The whole adventure is surreal, loaded with beautifully detailed descriptions of a setting from a bygone era. But the point I kept wondering while reading was: is the hotel sentient?

Dawson has written a lot of fantasy, including Kill the Farm Boy (co-written with Kevin Hearne), which probably deserves its own review. She’s also written a number of Star Wars novels as well as other science fiction. So it’s no surprise that she can bring over some sci-fi concepts into fantasy, like the classic sentient ship trope. Because that’s effectively what we’ve got going on with the Houdini—it’s a sentient ship, isolated from the outside world, its inhabitants every bit as unable to leave as if they were in space.

Okay, so it’s not really an idea that’s completely brand new to fantasy. Sentient/living buildings exist in fantasies like Howl’s Moving Castle, and the Innkeeper series by Ilona Andrews. But I had to stop and think to recall those, whereas I can come up with a number of sentient ships off the top of my head—2001: A Space Odyssey, Ancillary Justice, ART in the Murderbot Diaries, and Lovey from the Wayfarers series, just for starters. In those stories, the ship or AI is a major character, and in fantasy, it’s mostly treated as part of the setting. A really cool part of it, maybe, but it seems like this theme is just bigger and more common in sci-fi, is what I’m saying.

In this book, though, the Houdini is a major element. I stop short of calling it a character, but it’s definitely vital to the story. It often feels like a character, as if it’s manipulating its occupants in a thoughtful, intelligent way. I mean, it’s sometimes also a little terrifying, but being sweet or kind has never been a requirement for proving intelligence (unfortunately). The Houdini itself, combined with the early 20th century trappings, creates a unique and fresh adventure.

I noticed some other reviews for Midnight at the Houdini weren’t quite as positive, and after reading through several trying to identify what they felt the problems were, I suspect it’s really more about subverted tropes than any real issues with the story itself. Of course people have the right to like what they want. And if you’re looking for something a little different, Midnight at the Houdini might be worth a look.

Irregular Reviews are reviews I write at random, not on a schedule, whenever I’m inspired to write about a book. These are strictly my thoughts and opinions. Feel free to disagree.

Filed Under: Reading Tagged With: books, reviews

Irregular Reviews: Everything Sad is Untrue

October 27, 2024 by JJ

I recently met Arthur A. Levine—founder of the independent publisher Levine Querido—at ArmadilloCon. Levine is probably best known as the editor that brought the Harry Potter series to the US. Levine also published Darcie Little Badger’s debut Elatsoe (tip: when saying this out loud, pronounce the ‘e’ at the end like an ‘a’ sound; I managed to impress Levine by knowing this). The point of all this backstory is this is how I came across Everything Sad is Untrue by Daniel Nayeri, during a panel where Levine discussed a variety of books from his imprint. It’s a little outside of my usual genres, but it was so intriging I couldn’t resist.

I want to strongly, wholeheartedly endorse this book. It’s beautiful. The writing is fluid, at times lyrical. The characters well developed. It’s so real. And therein lies the problem. It’s like a slice of real life—more like a lot of slices, a cake cut into pieces and served in random ways with odd utensils. The cake is still delicious but it’s definitely not how you’re used to eating cake.

The book is essentially a monologue by Daniel, as he stands up in front of his class talking about his life. This premise isn’t introduced as a scene, it’s just hinted at throughout. I read that description in advance and thought, well it can’t really be this long and only be that. Turns out it can be. Daniel draws an analogy to Scheherazade multiple times. It’s an apt comparison, right down to the way the stories he weaves together don’t feel complete as you wade along through.

I have to admit—I skimmed a big chunk of it. Something about this compelled me to want to read it, immediately. But I wasn’t in the right headspace for it. The reviews for the audiobook version are really high, and I’m a bit sorry I didn’t get that instead of print (well, e-book, my current preferred format). But I own it now, and I fully expect to revisit it. In fact, I think it might be a prime candidate for nonlinear reading. An occasional slice of cake, served on a saucepan lid, eaten with a shrimp fork. Delicious.

Filed Under: Reading Tagged With: books, reviews

Easy Halloween Fence

October 13, 2024 by JJ

My neighborhood is into Halloween, and we get a lot of trick-or-treaters. That makes Halloween a perfect time for fun craftsy projects.

I wanted a fence to guide trick-or-treaters up to the house (and, you know, just to add decoration). But the ones you can buy are insanely expensive for just a short segment of fence. Plus they tend to be really short, and they’re flimsy, making me think they aren’t likely to last long. So this year, I decided to make one myself. This is the result:

A simple black chain fence with little skulls on the posts

Sorry I didn’t take pics all the way through, but the steps are pretty simple. I started with some cheap wooden stakes from Lowes. I got 36 inch, I probably could have used the 24 inch ones just fine (though this does have a nice bit of height). Fair warning, these stakes are meant for construction zones, they’re super rough, and you will get a thousand splinters if you aren’t careful with them.

The other materials were a 25ft black plastic chain, and a set of tiny skulls. Since there were eight skulls in the pack, I only used eight stakes, which turned out to work great for the length of chain I had.

I spray-painted the stakes black with some leftover paint I already had. We seem to accumulate a lot of leftover paint. After painting the stakes, I debated about how to fasten the chain to the stakes. I finally got the idea to just drill holes through them with a 5/8″ bit. Then it’d be an easy matter to thread the chain through the holes—and added bonus, I can take the chain out after Halloween and the stakes will all store nice and flat. So I drilled holes in them. Okay, MrJJ drilled the holes, but I held the boards for him, so I helped! They’re secured on the end stakes with black twist-ties (MrJJ’s idea, he’s a pretty smart guy).

Finally, the skull cap pieces were added. I had thought I’d glue them, but there was a nicely convenient hole in the base of each skull. So I tapped a nail into the top of each stake—MrJJ was into this project by now, and he found some leftover 3″ nails and flattened the heads down so the skulls could fit over them. I could glue the skulls down, but they don’t seem to need it. Plus, again, storage will be so easy if I can just put all the stakes flat together.

Closeup of a little skull on a black post, with a black chain running through a hole in the post

Drilling a second set of holes and running another chain through would make the whole thing look a lot more like a serious fence. Or, the shorter stakes would work great if you wanted a short fence.

I’m thinking about getting something like some Spanish moss to add a little more character. Or I’ve got some orange string lights. Anyway, this is a good base to start with.

Happy trails!

A little skeleton riding a skeleton flamingo

Filed Under: Blog, Life Tagged With: halloween, holidays

7 Tips For Sharing COVID—And The Holidays—With Your Family

November 23, 2020 by JJ

So you’ve been social distancing and wearing a mask. Great! And now you want to cash in your good karma points on visiting extended family, stuffing yourself insensible, then zoning out by the TV. And surely coronavirus will honor those karma points, right? It pays attention and thinks in its tiny little ‘rona brain, “Hey, that guy’s been good, I’ll give him a pass and not spray out of his mouth into his Grammy’s face when he hugs her. Nah, that’s not how I roll.”

You owe it to your Grammy to go. The best thing you can give her is the gift of you, even if it comes with a side of antibiotic cocktails, lung fluid, and blood clots. You don’t have to risk her life, you could just call her more often and listen to stories about her walking fart problems. But you’re so bored with staying home, and she’s had a good run. A gem of a guy like you deserves some fun!

So here we go, tips for the COVID holiday season.

  1. Wear a mask. Masks reduce the viral load you’re exposed to, which affects how ill you become. Of course, you won’t wear the mask while you’re eating. Even though your brother Jerry talks with his mouth full, so he’ll be spitting flecks of turkey gravy and mashed potatoes at everyone. And you won’t wear a mask while hugging Grammy. Her memory and eyesight are failing like Kanye’s presidential run, and she won’t recognize you with a mask. You know what, forget the mask. It’s not going to make much difference for the five to six minutes you’d actually have it properly covering that face penis you call a nose anyway. 
  2. Wash your hands. This one is important. Grammy is always after you to wash your hands, right? Even though she just wipes her hands on a kitchen towel after handling raw meat, but you know, do as she says, not as she does. Handwashing will make a difference in how many germs are spread around during that maskless, gravy-and-potato-spittled dinner. Especially after Uncle Chester has a few drinks and keeps grabbing your arm to make you sit and listen to stories about his basic training days and pranks involving toothbrushes and rectums. Or when Grandpa starts up with the latest conspiracy theory about 5G-induced STDs, and cousin June helps out by escalating it into a screaming match. Family gatherings are fun, huh?
  3. Use hand sanitizer. Hand sanitizer should be at least 60% alcohol. If you run out, try sneaking some vodka from Uncle Chester’s glass that he’s pretending is water. Bonus game, refill it with water and see if he notices (spoiler: he won’t, he’s drunk on hand sanitizer).
  4. Social distancing. Yeah, you already broke that one just by showing up. Next.
  5. Cover coughs and sneezes with a tissue, then throw the tissue in the trash. Have the kids do this as well. Make them stop wiping boogers on each other, or on Uncle Chester after he passes out on the couch. In fact, make sure you keep the kids away from Uncle Chester. His yell-sneezes that sound like an exorcism in progress can set off every car alarm in the driveway. Bound to be a few germs in there, too.
  6. Clean and disinfect frequently touched surfaces. Give the kids some Clorox wipes and make up a new game: how many surfaces can you wipe down every hour? The winner gets a peppermint that Grammy dug out of her purse with just a little bit of lint stuck to it. Be sure to warn the kids not to get bleach in their eyes or up their noses. Or on the food. Or each other. Actually, this might be a bad idea. Just get some of Chester’s vodka and spritz it around every hour or so. Be sure to get Grandpa’s nether regions. He’s having a little trouble holding things in, if you know what I mean.
  7. Take vitamin D. And zinc. And some C for good measure. If you weren’t sick before, odds are good you just got the new version of the gift that keeps on giving. So hunker down and brace yourself, you’re in for a rough few weeks. Call your Grammy one last time. Happy holidays!

Filed Under: Life Tagged With: covid, family, holidays

UFO8 anthology, now with more JJ!

October 2, 2020 by JJ

Up for some fun? The classic humor SFF anthology Unidentified Funny Objects is about to release UFO8, including my story “The Unwelcome Mat,” featuring Mathilde Coburn, Appliance Exorcist.

Pretty sweet, huh!

October 13 is the official release date. Makes a great gift! No seriously, the world is on fucking fire right now, and everyone could use a break from that, even for just a few minutes (ha ha ha, ow). Check out the names on the cover, too. It still bowls me over to be part of this. I really love UFO, and getting the chance to work with Alex Shvartsman was a pretty sweet deal, too.

We could all use a little more good news, so feel free to add a comment about anything that’s going well for you right now, I’d love to hear it.

Filed Under: Stories Tagged With: anthology, sff, short-stories, ufo

New Year’s Resolutions: Minimal Progress is Okay

January 2, 2020 by JJ

This time of year, a slew of articles are out there about resolutions. How lots of people do them, why they’re bad, why they’re important, how to not screw them up. Personally, I’ve never liked resolutions. I don’t need any help putting undue pressure on myself to achieve more and then feeling shitty when I struggle with it, thank you very much. Still, I get the appeal. You want to do better and be better, right? The thing that’s worse than the resolutions is the attitude that there’s some kind of absolute truth about them, as demonstrated by those aforementioned articles.

Resolutions made at the start of a new year have a long and storied history. (Yeah, I just linked to Wikipedia, go look and see if you aren’t fascinated by the idea of Babylonians doing this shit, too.) This isn’t a Hallmark holiday, or manufactured as an advertising campaign—though I wouldn’t be surprised if they make a card for it and I’m not doing that search right now. The point is that the desire to be and do better is ingrained, a part of human nature. And there’s not a damn thing wrong with that. It’s great, right?

At least it’s great until it isn’t. If you pressure yourself too much (or better yet, pressure other people). If you don’t reach your objective and you beat yourself up about it. Or if you don’t meet your goals quickly and just give up. This is why the Peloton you got for Christmas ends up on eBay by April. Ha, just kidding! It ends up on eBay because you need the cash after the market crash and the next recession begins. (You thought I was going to make a divorce joke, instead I went all in with societal downfall, whee!)

But I digress. The point, once again, is the desire for improvement. If you move the needle a little, that’s progress. If you move it, then backslide, it’s okay to keep going and try again. You don’t have to go to the extent of dissolving into gelatinous goo like a caterpillar metamorphing into a butterfly, which is good news because being a goo-based life form holds zero appeal for me.

Whatever you end up doing with resolutions, be kind to yourself. A little progress is still progress. It’s okay if you have to start over. It’s okay to make adjustments to your goals, especially if you set your sights too high at the beginning. Remember, you’re just as good as any Babylonian. You got this.

Filed Under: Blog

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Recent Posts

  • Irregular Reviews: Midnight at the Houdini
  • Irregular Reviews: Everything Sad is Untrue
  • Easy Halloween Fence
  • 7 Tips For Sharing COVID—And The Holidays—With Your Family
  • UFO8 anthology, now with more JJ!

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  • Irregular Reviews: Midnight at the Houdini
  • Irregular Reviews: Everything Sad is Untrue
  • Easy Halloween Fence
  • 7 Tips For Sharing COVID—And The Holidays—With Your Family
  • UFO8 anthology, now with more JJ!

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