JJ Litke

the neural pathways less traveled

Easy Halloween Fence

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My neighborhood is into Halloween, and we get a lot of trick-or-treaters. That makes Halloween a perfect time for fun craftsy projects.

I wanted a fence to guide trick-or-treaters up to the house (and, you know, just to add decoration). But the ones you can buy are insanely expensive for just a short segment of fence. Plus they tend to be really short, and they’re flimsy, making me think they aren’t likely to last long. So this year, I decided to make one myself. This is the result:

A simple black chain fence with little skulls on the posts

Sorry I didn’t take pics all the way through, but the steps are pretty simple. I started with some cheap wooden stakes from Lowes. I got 36 inch, I probably could have used the 24 inch ones just fine (though this does have a nice bit of height). Fair warning, these stakes are meant for construction zones, they’re super rough, and you will get a thousand splinters if you aren’t careful with them.

The other materials were a 25ft black plastic chain, and a set of tiny skulls. Since there were eight skulls in the pack, I only used eight stakes, which turned out to work great for the length of chain I had.

I spray-painted the stakes black with some leftover paint I already had. We seem to accumulate a lot of leftover paint. After painting the stakes, I debated about how to fasten the chain to the stakes. I finally got the idea to just drill holes through them with a 5/8″ bit. Then it’d be an easy matter to thread the chain through the holes—and added bonus, I can take the chain out after Halloween and the stakes will all store nice and flat. So I drilled holes in them. Okay, MrJJ drilled the holes, but I held the boards for him, so I helped! They’re secured on the end stakes with black twist-ties (MrJJ’s idea, he’s a pretty smart guy).

Finally, the skull cap pieces were added. I had thought I’d glue them, but there was a nicely convenient hole in the base of each skull. So I tapped a nail into the top of each stake—MrJJ was into this project by now, and he found some leftover 3″ nails and flattened the heads down so the skulls could fit over them. I could glue the skulls down, but they don’t seem to need it. Plus, again, storage will be so easy if I can just put all the stakes flat together.

Closeup of a little skull on a black post, with a black chain running through a hole in the post

Drilling a second set of holes and running another chain through would make the whole thing look a lot more like a serious fence. Or, the shorter stakes would work great if you wanted a short fence.

I’m thinking about getting something like some Spanish moss to add a little more character. Or I’ve got some orange string lights. Anyway, this is a good base to start with.

Happy trails!

A little skeleton riding a skeleton flamingo

New Year’s Resolutions: Minimal Progress is Okay

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This time of year, a slew of articles are out there about resolutions. How lots of people do them, why they’re bad, why they’re important, how to not screw them up. Personally, I’ve never liked resolutions. I don’t need any help putting undue pressure on myself to achieve more and then feeling shitty when I struggle with it, thank you very much. Still, I get the appeal. You want to do better and be better, right? The thing that’s worse than the resolutions is the attitude that there’s some kind of absolute truth about them, as demonstrated by those aforementioned articles.

Resolutions made at the start of a new year have a long and storied history. (Yeah, I just linked to Wikipedia, go look and see if you aren’t fascinated by the idea of Babylonians doing this shit, too.) This isn’t a Hallmark holiday, or manufactured as an advertising campaign—though I wouldn’t be surprised if they make a card for it and I’m not doing that search right now. The point is that the desire to be and do better is ingrained, a part of human nature. And there’s not a damn thing wrong with that. It’s great, right?

At least it’s great until it isn’t. If you pressure yourself too much (or better yet, pressure other people). If you don’t reach your objective and you beat yourself up about it. Or if you don’t meet your goals quickly and just give up. This is why the Peloton you got for Christmas ends up on eBay by April. Ha, just kidding! It ends up on eBay because you need the cash after the market crash and the next recession begins. (You thought I was going to make a divorce joke, instead I went all in with societal downfall, whee!)

But I digress. The point, once again, is the desire for improvement. If you move the needle a little, that’s progress. If you move it, then backslide, it’s okay to keep going and try again. You don’t have to go to the extent of dissolving into gelatinous goo like a caterpillar metamorphing into a butterfly, which is good news because being a goo-based life form holds zero appeal for me.

Whatever you end up doing with resolutions, be kind to yourself. A little progress is still progress. It’s okay if you have to start over. It’s okay to make adjustments to your goals, especially if you set your sights too high at the beginning. Remember, you’re just as good as any Babylonian. You got this.