JJ Litke

the neural pathways less traveled

Creating races in fiction: primate skulls

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So you’re creating a fantastic world for your story. Naturally, you want to populate it with fantastic beings. To pull this off, those beings still have to follow certain rules of anatomy and physics (unless you’re making up your own physics, in which case, good luck). Even if readers don’t fully understand the anatomy of real-world creatures similar to yours, they very well might realize something is amiss without knowing precisely why–people can be pretty damn smart, and you want smart readers, right? Okay then.

This is an extremely broad subject, so I’m going to tackle a small detail to make my point: primate skull shapes. This came up while at the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History with my daughter. Being the full-time badass she is, she threw out details and facts throughout. When we got to a display of small primate skeletons, she noted how some are smoothly rounded, like a human’s, and some had bony ridges across the top.

You know what a human skull looks like, so let’s look at something cute, like a spider monkey.

spider monkey, spider monkey, doing the things a spider monkey can
By Klaus Rassinger und Gerhard Cammerer, Museum Wiesbaden (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Aw, kind of. Okay, a skull isn’t as cute as a live monkey.

The skull is rounded, with wide open eye sockets. No bony ridges on top. Spider monkeys–and humans–have smooth skulls because we have weak little flappy jaw muscles that don’t need much room to anchor to the skull.

By contrast, here is a mandrill skull. The stronger the jaw muscles, the more room they need to attach to the skull (or else they’d tear off of the skull under their own power). The bony ridges (which you can just see on the back of the skull) allow more surface area for the jaw muscles to attach.

mandrill skull: death awaits you with nasty big pointy teeth
By Didier Descouens (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
That guy? Can bite your arm off.

Wait, it gets better. Have you ever noticed how pointed a gorilla’s head is? It’s because they have FREAKING HUGE bony ridges. Which means REALLY POWERFUL JAWS. They need all that extra skull square footage for those massive muscles.

I'll bite yer legs off
By Panellet (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Side note, if you’d like to become the proud owner of a gorilla skull replica, click here to go to a fun site that sells real and replica bones. (Be sure to check out the Gift Finder link! Seriously, they have a Gift Finder link in the left nav bar.)

You might also notice that the skulls of primates with the large bony ridges associated with jaw muscles also have larger brow ridges. This has to do with the muscular structure of the head, and it’s going to affect the overall appearance of the animal.

The physiological appearance of animals is dependent on their underlying structure. Primates with powerful jaws have a distinctive appearance. So if you wanted to make up a race of aliens that are humanoid, but have super strong jaws, they should look more like the basic gorilla structure than human. Same for any other unique cranial elements; you need to consider how that would really work and adjust their appearance accordingly. The same would also hold for other musculature, like if arms or legs were particularly strong, or if they had more than the usual number of limbs.

It’s subtle detail that’s important for a realistic touch. And you’re kidding yourself if you think readers wouldn’t notice if you didn’t do it right. People may not consciously know all of these details, but they know when something feels off. And they don’t like it.

Maybe I’ll tackle the physiology of snake skulls next. Don’t anyone hold their breath for that to happen quickly, though.

Seven tips to make proofreading easier

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dig bog, dittle log
Typoglycemia. It’s a thing.

Your brain is a little too clever. It will read what should be on the page instead of what’s actually there. That’s just one of the reasons why proofreading is so very tricky.

Many people think all they have to do is read a piece over, and they’ll spot any mistakes. Simple, right? Except it doesn’t really work that way. In fact, you are less likely to catch errors in your own writing than someone else’s, because you know what you meant to say.

Here are a few tips on mastering the skill of proofing.

1. SPELLCHECK.
That’s so obvious, you don’t even need to be told. Oh yes you do. People skip this all the time, or simply forget to do it. The worst part is that everyone knows about spellcheck and how it works. So when you don’t use it and leave misspelled words in your writing, it looks like you don’t know what you’re doing. Many applications have dynamic spelling built in (including MS Word), so make use of it. Be careful with autocorrect features—we all know how wrong that can go.

2. Slow. Down.
Don’t read at your usual speed. Slow it down to a word at a time. A technique to help with this is to use a piece of paper to cover the lines below the one you’re reading; that discourages you from scanning rather than reading.

3. Proof in a different format.
Print it out, save it as a pdf, even send it to your tablet or smartphone. Reading the text in a different format frames it just differently enough that it helps you notice details in a new way.

4. Read out loud.
This is particularly good for flow problems, but the act of speaking each word gets you to look more closely at them.

5. Have someone else proof it.
This really works better if it’s someone who has also developed their proofing skills. But even someone who hasn’t can spot a few errors. Note: you can’t trust clients to proof the text that they gave you. Seriously. They will read the text the way they meant it every single time. Then they’ll blame you if typos end up in the final result.

6. Proof for one issue at a time.
Strictly speaking, this is more of an editing thing than a proofing thing (and there is a difference). Once you have the content set, make separate passes through looking for things like misplaced punctuation, subject-verb agreement, verb tense, adjective and adverb overuse, unnecessary instances of that or could, and any other problems you know yourself to be guilty of.

7. Take a break.
Coming back to something with fresh eyes a few days later makes it much easier to spot errors. And for creative work, it makes it easier to see flow problems, and even a little easier to figure out how to fix issues like that.

Even with all of that, problems will sneak through. Typos happen, even to the best of us. Look at this excerpt from Good Omens, by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman.

Typo in Good Omens, by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
Check out the big brain on Brian!

You may not be able to hope to prevent them entirely. You just want to minimize the embarrassment of getting caught at them, and try to head them off as much as you can.

Now I’m wondering where the typos are in this post. It seems impossible to write a post about typos and not have any pop up.

Public speaking: still not as scary as writing

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Public speaking doesn’t scare me (much). I teach college classes, so I get plenty of practice being ignored while speaking to a group. When a friend asked me to be on her writing panel at WordCamp, I didn’t quail. Sure! I’ll only be one of five people, so I won’t even have to carry the entire thing myself, like I do when lecturing.

Then I walked into the small auditorium for our panel, and a sudden thought shot through my head. Oh shit.

But I’m a professional, right? I can handle this. It was definitely the biggest group I’ve ever confronted, but the minute we started, I didn’t feel nervous at all. It really helped that I was on stage with several awesomely talented people. I figured if I panicked at any point, I could flee and my cohorts would cover for me (I don’t have that option in class, unfortunately).

The whole discussion went well (so I thought, anyway). But I was struck by the anxiety, even outright fear, that all of us–audience and speakers alike–have about our writing. When you’re new at something, you might look up to an expert and think they don’t seem nervous about their work. Not true. That anxiety never leaves you. After 20+ years of graphics, I get nervous every time I start a new job. The difference is that now I have the experience to know how to get through the problem points. And I’ve learned the same with writing. Much of our talk was about getting through those parts.

  • Great writing doesn’t happen in the first draft, it comes with editing (and editing, rewriting, then editing some more).
  • Don’t give in to writer’s block. Write something, anything, to get past it.
  • Find someone who’s feedback you can trust to tell you if your content is working (but remember it’s still your writing).
  • Get a colleague to trade proofreading with you (proofing is a learned skill, you will miss your own typos).
  • Reading out loud makes it clear if the text is flowing well or not.
  • Take time between editing rounds; when you see it with fresh eyes, the needed changes are more obvious.
  • Edit again. Every single word counts.
  • No, really, edit. Years of copy editing have taught me you don’t need near as many words as you think.

The best thing that I got out of it was deeper realization that I’m not alone. I’ve got a few more like-minded connections added to my network. And for me, that’s huge.

Now I should take my own advice and start actually writing the notes for my next book. It’s just been scary getting started, ya know?

Your blog is bad and you should feel bad

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Face it, no one gives a crap about 99.9% of blogs. Most people blog because they think they should, or because some marketer convinced them they should. Here’s some of the typical reasons you’ll hear in favor of blogging.

“Blogging is a great way to help market or promote your business!”

No. Customers really want information about prices, location, and contact info. Unless your business blog has truly helpful articles, it will go unread.

“Use your blog to connect with like-minded people!”

Blogs are more likely to be a soapbox than a discussion. If your goal is connection, there are better outlets.

“You can stay connected with friends and family!”

Are you serious? Again, better places exist for that.

“Blog to express yourself!”

Okay, you got me there. As long as you don’t mind talking into the ether, go right ahead.

Studies show that 97.4% of blogs never get read and eventually die a sad and lonely death. I made that up, but it might as well be true. The point is, don’t waste time and resources blogging if you don’t need it.

This may beg the question (or it would if anyone ever read this blog), why do I bother blogging? Thank you for asking, imaginary reader! I do it simply to practice writing.

So there you go. Two actually good reasons to blog are: 1) articles containing useful information related to your business or expertise, and 2) practicing writing.

If I ever think of any other good reasons, I’ll let you know. Not that you’ll read them.

We suck at relationships

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I have a fascination with Confucianism. That shows in my writing, though you wouldn’t notice if you aren’t familiar with it yourself. And most people aren’t.

I should clarify that Confucianism is non-theistic. Just so you know, I’m not peddling religion here. It’s an ethical system, primarily concerned with correct behavior, and even more primarily with behavior toward other people. This where that relationships thing comes in. According to Confucianism, there are five basic relationships, which I will list without strict regard for political correctness:

  • Ruler to subject
  • Parent to child
  • Husband to wife
  • Elder sibling to younger sibling
  • Friend to friend

Within these relationships, the person in seniority has a moral obligation to behave with benevolence toward their juniors. That means looking out for their well being and generally taking care of them. The person in the junior position should treat their seniors with respect. As any given person could be in multiple of these relationships at the same time, they would adjust their behavior and expectations toward others depending on those relationships.

A great example of how this thought process works is two brothers with two apples, one large and one small. The elder brother offers the younger brother the large apple because he is still growing. But the younger brother offers the elder brother the larger apple because he is bigger. Aw!

That’s a lovely philosophy, isn’t it? Just a couple of problems, though. While Confucianism is fairly clear that one should know one’s place and stick to it (and that’s a pretty huge problem on its own), it’s a lot less clear about what to do when the other person in the relationship isn’t following the philosophy. But in general I think we can agree that a lot of us really suck at following these general guidelines, at least on a regular basis (certainly the Tea Party doesn’t ascribe to the concept of caring for others). It’s still a good goal, and a good way to think of how we should be acting toward others who depend on us.

Circling back to my writing (you knew I’d do that, didn’t you), all of those relationships are represented in my books. I actually didn’t consciously plan it that way, it just made sense because I deal with a lot of family issues and relationships. Just like in real life, my characters don’t always behave as they should. Yet even the most selfish of my fictional family still see their obligation to look out for their people. They would never deny food or shelter to those who depend on them. If I did write them that way, my story would be foolishly unbelievable.

Funny how real life can be more twisted and absurd than fiction.

Immortal characters and the people they know

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If someone lived long enough, they must have met some interesting historical figures, right? Famous names that anyone now would recognize. It just makes sense that it works that way, and it’s big fun to read those bits of alternative history in fiction. It’s even more fun to write them. Which is the only good reason to do it, because it’s definitely not realistic.

It really only makes sense if you don’t look too close or think too much about it. It turns out that many names we recognize as famous now were pretty far from that when they lived. In the novel Hounded, the first of the Iron Druid Chronicles, the main character–who has been around for 21 centuries–mentions knowing Van Gogh. But Van Gogh was virtually unknown during his life. He sold exactly one painting. Only later was his work noticed, and even later to become the widely-known name that he is. But okay, let’s say that his work became famous later because this long-lived character (strictly, he isn’t a true immortal) knew him, and somehow contrived that postmortem fame. So, there we go, still plausible. Though to be honest, I’m not sure that’s really how the author meant it (Kevin Hearne, if you’d like to correct me on this, I’d appreciate it).

So some examples could be explained away. Some others, not so much. The very worst demonstration of this I can think of is from the movie Hancock. Criticizing Hancock is like shooting fish in a barrel, there’s just so much to vilify there. But I’m talking about the bit right at the very end, when Jason Bateman quizzes Charlize Theron about various historical figures: Attila the Hun, Queen Elizabeth (without specifying which Queen Elizabeth, I’m assuming the dead one), and JFK. She personally knows EVERY PERSON WHO EVER EXISTED and she has opinions on all of them.

Now I know what you’re thinking: with everything that went wrong with Hancock, THAT is the thing you chose to pick at? Well, yeah, odds are good you didn’t even notice that particular flaw after the more glaring stuff that came before it, and the lame heart-moon thing after. Besides, it fits today’s subject.

I admit, that pieces of alternate history like this are really enjoyable when done well. In my own writing, I decided to go the other direction. My characters (like Hearne’s, they are not truly immortal) have spent centuries trying to remain hidden. While they’ve interacted and even interfered plenty, they aren’t given to hanging out at the top with big names. That, logically, would ruin anonymity. My fave depiction of this is a young man meeting someone who is more than seven centuries old (I know, that’s a little on the young side). He could ask about anything he wants. Coming back to their conversation later, they’re talking about football. It’s unfortunately realistic; I imagine that, on the spot, you’d quickly run out of questions, especially if you got a number of responses like, “No, I never met him,” or “I wasn’t there, I don’t know any more than a history text would.” Then the conversation would naturally turn to the sorts of things that any two people might talk about. (Though actually, I think someone who’s been in as high a number of wars and conflicts as that character might have a fascinating view of football, and I would totally jump at the chance to find out.)

All that said, I’d like to get some more historical figure references as I continue through the Iron Druid Chronicles. I’m holding out hope that Hearne will fall into the doing-it-right category.